Ruby's comments from Lunar 2: Eternal Blue Version 3.7 Compiled by Travis Saucier (enygma@rpgamer.com) Larpa Town: -------------------- Woman: You know, just between you and me, the best looking man here is Ronfar! He's just good enough to eat! And control! When the dice are in his hands, its almost like magic! Ruby: Yeah, right...magic. I'm so impressed, I'm yawning..... -------------------- Larpa Mayor's House: -------------------- Woman: Scrubbing down this house over and over is so utterly mindless. If I don't find a new job, I'm thinking about going on welfare Atleast then I can what I want and still get a check twice a month. Ruby: Sounds like a plan to suck your life down the toilet. -------------------- Larpa Tavern: -------------------- Girl: One day, my knight in shining armor will ride through those doors and sweep me off to a new life with shining palaces and dazzeling wealth... Ruby: I think you'd better lay off the romance novels for a while, Sister...Fabio ain't comin' for ya, I'm sorry to say... -------------------- Dragonship Destiny: -------------------- Lucia: Hiro..and Ruby! What are you doing here, if they find you, you'll be captured! Ruby: DUH! We didn't think they were going to throw us a huge party! -------------------- Caravan in Illusion Forest: -------------------- Lucia: I don't think I've ever seen anything like this before. What is it? Ruby: Uh, Hello Lucia? Its a bird. Just a dumb old bird...sheesh. -------------------- Caravan in Illusion Forest: -------------------- Bird: WHEW! That was Close! Atleast you pulled it off at the last minute. I thought we were all dead meat back there, WIIILLBURRR! Ruby: WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING ME THAT??!!! Ronfar: I think it thinks its a horse, of course. Ruby: Ronfar, that's ridiculous! Where'd you ever get that idea? -------------------- Takkar Village -------------------- Twins: Welcome to the Bounteous Babe Inn. We're here to serve your every need. Lucia: But...their faces are the same??? I've never seen anything like it. Ruby: We call that 'twins.' -------------------- Man: Whenever my business takes near this town, I always stay here. This place is always stocked with the most gorgeous women! Talk about eye candy! WHOOOO WHEE! Ruby: Yeah, but in your case, its more like PHHHEE-YEWWW! Your looks are more like eye sewage... -------------------- Merchant: Say, you look like you're new to this town. Atleast you picked a good Inn! I'm a traveling merchant. Do you want to see any of my wares? Lucia: Merchant? Wares? I don't understand the meaning of those words..... Ruby: If you remain ignorant of those terms and credit-cardless, you'll be every man's fantasy mate! --------------------- Illusion Forest: --------------------- Jean: My dance steps seemed to work well in combat..I don't think could have overcome the beast without it. Ronfar: Don't forget my dice, baby! I was rollin' thunder! Ruby: Yeah, and I was Rollin' my eyes, you arrogant boob... -------------------- Haunted Mansion -------------------- Lucia: This Magic Guild sounds very enchanting.... Ruby: Watch it Lucia. This girl sounds desperated. If you say anymore, you'll probably find yourself hog-tied and being dragged to this magic city. Ronfar: Oh c'mon Ruby! She's not that bad! And besides, we could use her in battle! Jean: OK, Ronfar, she's off limits to you! Ronfar: Hey! I wasn't thinking anything but pure thoughts! Ruby: Pure what? Lust? -------------------- Nota Town: -------------------- Salesman: Hey there, you look alittle pale....perhaps you'd like to buy some charred newt? Its really quiet safe and effective stimulant and health tonight. The only minor side effect is atomic diarrea.... Ruby: Atomic diarrea? Geez, I wonder how dangerous a dragon with that would be? Talk about a blast that lasts! WHOO WHOO! I don't even wanna think about it! ------------------------ Waitress: Say, what's a nice bunch of kids like you doing in a dive like this? Ronfar: Is she talkin' to me? I'm no kid! Ruby: Maybe she was just watching how you act..... ------------------------ Girl: My! If that isn't the cutest little kitty-cat I've ever seen! is it for sale?! Ruby: I am NOT a cat, and I definately not for sale! Really! The nerve! For Sale! HRMPH! I'll show you cute lady! ------------------------ Girl: Awww, your kitty's not for sale? Com'on now. There's got to be someway I can buy it. Money's no object! Ruby: Ruby's no object either! Don't you understand? I can't be bought! Ronfar: Hey! There, There Ruby. Simmer down, we don't want another burn lawsuit. ------------------------ SalesWoman: Say there, Miss, Can I interest you in a tube of lipstick made from fish. The rare fish oils will make your lips silky smooth, and the smell is not that bad. Ruby: WHEW! Don't tell me "Not that Bad," Lady, I can smell that crap from here! ------------------------ Saleswoman: Beautiful ladies should do everything they can to accent their beauty. Why not try our fabulous fish oil lipstick? Your man will thank you in the morning. Ruby: Is that before or after he finishes heaving from the smell of the lipstick? ------------------------ Northern Carnival ------------------------ Clown: Step right up one and all! Examine the mystery and beauty of fire! You're looking at the world's best human flamethrower! Ruby: So he spits fire, big deal. I can do that too.... ------------------------ Ronfar: This is some kinda gambling joint? WHOO WHOO! I'll get my dice! Lemina: Ronfar? Where is your head? We don't have time to spend gambling! Ronfar: Speaking of party-poopers, I'd say "Little Missy Money Pants," that is. Besides, I can double my money in no time flat. Lemina: Double?....Did you say double your money? Well, maybe we do have to hang around here here....as long as you double my money too. Ruby: Look at that, Hiro, Ronfar's got Lemina hooked now! How competely pathetic! ---------------------------- Salesman: Hey there kids! Want one of my colorful balloons? I just made up a new batch! The gas inside can lift you into the sky. Ruby: Hiro! Hiro! Please!? Can we get some balloons? I want to fly with one! Ronfar: What are you talking about Ruby? You always fly! Ruby: Ronfar, you are the biggest dragon on my enthusiasm. Every adventure party has a pooper. That's why we invited you..... PARTY POOPER! ------------------------- Guy: Please step back. Don't you know who you're talkin' to? I'm the most famous star of this carnival. I just can't go outside anymore becauase women keep attacking me! Ronfar: I hear ya buddy! I have to beat'em back with a stick! Ruby: What are you talking about Ronfar? Usually, the women are running away from you! ------------------------- Ghaleon's Tower ------------------------- Ruby: (Looking at a Fairy) Oh How adorable. She's sleeping while flying! Why don't we put her hand in warm water as see what else she can do? ------------------------- Zulan ------------------------- Guy: This has to be the worst job in the world! I hate shoveling snow! What I wouldn't give for someone to do all this work for me! Lemina: No...it couldn't be that easy...HA! YES! I've got a great idea for a new business. This is going to make a ton of money! Now, in order to make this business profitable, I'm goning to need you, Ruby. Ruby: My help? OH, I get it! You want me to melt all the snow with my breath, don't you? Lemina: Correctamundo! With your breath, and my brains, we're going to be rich! Ruby: Read my lips...NO WAY!!! With your hair brained scheme, I do all the work, and you get all the dough! -------------------------- Girl: I think a saw fear in Lucia's eyes when she ran past me. Did you guys have a lovers quarrel? That always happens to people in love! You guys must really, really be in love! Hiro: ..... Ruby: WIPE THAT SILLY GRIN OFF YOUR FACE! I'M TELLIN' GRANDPA GWYN! ------------------------- Warrior: WHAT?! You defeated the beast? The only reason you defeated him was because I softened him up for you! Ruby: Oh yeah, he sure look like he was on his deathbed. ------------------------- Lady: I don't know how to thank you for finally killing that icy beast! Now I can start to plan how I'm going to invest my money. You didn't, by chance, scalp him or get anything from his cave did you? WHAT!? You didn't get anything off him?! Ruby: Oh, I'm sorry, I was more concerned about saving this little icehole! -------------------------- Taben's Peak: -------------------------- Lemina: We'd better be mega-careful. Taben's Peak is just ahead. Statisically, most robberies take place here. So keep your eyes peeled and your hands on your valuables! Ruby: RONFAR! Get your hands out of your pants! Ronfar: Uh....well...she said! Just following the lady's orders! -------------------------- Nall: (After capturing Ruby) OWCH! Bite me again and I'll have you for dinner! Ruby: Oh Yeah?! Just try it you rude freak of nature! Nall: Rude..freak..of? Listen here! You are trespassers on my property, not the other way around! If I were in your shoes, I'd tread lightly! Anyway, you seem harmless enough, and I don't have time to fool with you. So, I recommend that you leave while you still can! Continue at your own risk! Ruby: That boy is nothing but a rude pain in the butt! I wonder if he's a member of the Blue Dragon Cult! Jean: Hmmm, I don't think so...I don't remember seeing him. Lucia: No..No..his aura is not of evil..he's something like a..... Ruby: OH SURE! Gang up on me and tell me what a nice guy he is! I'm not changing my mind, kid's nothing but a punk! Where's Dirty Harry when you need him?! --------------------------- Raculi: --------------------------- Insane Man: Beeble Bobble Beeble Dee Thwat Poppa Poo Poo! HAHAHAHA! Ruby: I'm thinking a large does of Lithium might be in order..... --------------------------- Woman: Oh My! Oh My! What will I do? What will I do? Tomorrow's my cleansing! But if I go, I'm certain I'll return here insane! What shall I do?! Ruby: Duh! I've got a brainstorm! Just don't show up! --------------------------- Serak Palace: --------------------------- (Before Zophar's power is gone) Insane Man: Waki Maki Laki Saki Woki Doki Moki Loki Uga Muga Luga Duga Suga Ya Ya Ya Yaki Ya...... Ruby: Hiro, I think this guy's been dipping into some of the "Holy Reserves." --------------------------- (After Zophar's power is gone) Man: How did I get here? I would never come here on my own accord. This place us too creepy! Oh I get it! This is some kinda weirdo birthday gag! All Right! You got me! You can all come out now! It...was a...gag...wasn't..it? Ruby: I really don't know how to break the truth to this guy...So lets just split and let him figure it out for himself, okay? ----------------------------- (After Ronfar has broken Zophar's Curse on Mauri) Ruby: Looks like Mauri and Ronfar are finally going to get back together! Go ahead, Ronfar, kiss her. We won't watch! Ronfar: Blasted Cat! Don't you have better things to do than play matchmaker?! ----------------------------- Red Dragon Cave: ----------------------------- Ruby: We've finally made it inside the Red Dragon's Cave! Now I can finally become an adult! I'm alittle scared, but I know I'm gonna do fine, right Hiro? Hiro: ....... Ruby: When Nall sees me as an adult, I wonder what he's going to say. Ronfar: Since when do you care what Nall thinks about you, Ruby? Look out Hiro, I think your cat's ready to fly the coop! Hiro: ....... Ruby: SHUT UP RONFAR! I could care less what Nall thinks! I was just uh...wondering.... ----------------------------- (After reviving the Red Dragon Aura) Ruby: Uh..How come nothing happened? Ronfar: Are you sure you're the Red Dragon? Maybe you're just an annoying little flying cat. ----------------------------- (After Zophar's Rise to Power) Vane: ----------------------------- Old Man: What? A terrible God called Zophar is trying to destroy our world? Which one of these books has that story? It sounds like a real page-turner. Ruby: Gramps, its not a story, this is really happening! ----------------------------- (Looking at "Basic Magic Volume 3: Killing Barney Made Easy") Ruby: Hallelijulia! Its about time someone wrote this book! Let's borrow it! ----------------------------- (Looking at "101 Pick Up Lines Guaranteed to Make the Grade: Volume 1") Ruby: Uh...Hiro..let's move on, okay? ----------------------------- (Looking at "1001 Ways to Skin a Cat: Volume 1- Cafe Traditions") Ruby: What is a book like this doing here? I think I'm going to be sick! ----------------------------- (Looking at "Understanding Magic Volume 8: Love Potion #9") Ruby: Hiro, I think you may have read this book! Hiro: ... Ruby: Ah, Hiro! Don't be shy, you little Devil! ----------------------------- Epiloge (After Zophar's Fall) Larpa: ----------------------------- Man: I will get that house back! In fact, I'm training to be the world's biggest cheat! Its the only way you can win against that Dynamo! Just you wait, Ronfar! I've learned tricks to win my house back! Ruby: Shee! Give it up already! Rondar is a much better cheat that you'll ever be! ----------------------------- Card Player: HA! I finally won against this card shark! I can't believe it! Ruby: Yeah but you only won 10 Silver! ----------------------------- Mayor's Wife: OHHH! Aren't you the brave, strong lad who defeated Zophar? Our daughter would make an excellent wife for you. Come....I'll introduce you. Ruby: Uh...Hiro...take my word on this...you don't want to meet this...uh...(and I'm using this term very loosely) girl. ----------------------------- Dalton: ----------------------------- Boy: My Daddy said that he heard that the Four Heroes of Althena don't control the dragons. He said they lost control when the dragons were released. I wish I could see one of the dragons. They must be awesome! Ruby: Well, kiddo, this is your lucky day! Feast your eyes on me! Boy: Is this some kind of sick joke? You're not one of the Four Dragons! You're just some stinkin'....stinkin'..well, I don't know what you are, but you're too small to be a dragon. Ruby: Well, I'm big enough to toast your imputent butt, Junior! ----------------------------- Azado: ----------------------------- Woman: I've decided to start making cookies in the shape of the beast! I'm gonna call them "Beasties!" If this catches on, I'm gonna be flithy rich! Ruby: Why not make them laxative chips instead and call them, "Bowel Beasties?" You can sell them to people who are bound up! Now there's a gold mine! ----------------------------- Man: I'm going back to school so that I can learn about our history. The Blue Star, The Goddess, and the heroic Dragonmasters...I need to learn about all of this. Maybe some of it is true. I must know, because only by understanding the past, can I build a bright future. Ruby: What do you know? Dinglenut found a brain! ----------------------------- Woman: I hear Zophar was defeated by mere mortals! I didn't think humans possessed such power! Ruby: Well....GUESS AGAIN! ----------------------------- Drunk: I'm tired of sitting here all day an night! My butt's so big, I have to use two stools! Ruby: 'Bout time you noticed the lard in your shorts! ----------------------------- Priest: Althena blesses those that assist her priests. Giving me all your worldly belongings could result in eternal salvation! Ruby: That's fine, as long as accepting it results in your eternal damnation! ----------------------------- Priest: Hey, do you want a free necklace? It would make a nice collar for your cat! Ruby: Its a good thing for you we're in a Holy Place.... ----------------------------- Priest: I can't believe that Zophar revived Ghaleon from the dead! If he hadn't been stopped, he could have destroyed our world! Ruby: Correct-A-Mundo, Einstein! ----------------------------- Vane: ----------------------------- Man: Lemina has become very busy guiding the Magic Guild back to prominance. If she keeps improving the place, I might just apply! Ruby: What, have they put out a request for whiny guys who like to complain? ----------------------------- Taben's Peak: ----------------------------- Boy: Yeah!! YEEEEAAHHH!! Now that the world is safe again, I can play with no worries! Ruby: Except how you're going to make a living with no formal schooling...I hear McBorgan's is hiring...... ----------------------------- Boy: Nall has been in this world a long time, but he is not an old man. I don't think I understand this thing about dragon aging.... Ruby: Maybe "Oil of Olay," is his beauty secret.... ----------------------------- Boy: Gee...I guess Ruby is a real Red Dragon...that's so cool! I'm sorry I called you a cat. Hey, tell me something. Are you and Nall going to get hitched? Ruby: WHAT?! NO WAY! I hate that guy! ----------------------------- Boy: Oough! I think there's some kissy-faced dragons 'round here! Are you and Nall married yet? Ruby: No you fool! Don't you understand that I hate that guy?!! ----------------------------- Girl: Let's see, we have Nall the White Dragon and Ruby the Red Dragon...Maybe you would should get together an make some baby Pink Dragons. Then I could have one as a pet! Ruby: NOT IN A MILLION YEARS! ----------------------------- Raculi: ----------------------------- Man: I haven't been able to sleep lately because of the weird dreams I keep having. I think Mauri's cleansing damaged me. Ruby: I'll say! You would have seen the way you were acting before! ----------------------------- Boy: I think I'm starting puberty, cause I got a big zit. Ruby: It can't be that big, I don't see anything. Boy: Its on my butt. I can prove it, if you want. Ruby: Uh..No...Thanks. If you keep your zitty butt in hiding, we'll all be better off. Congrats on the puberty thing, though...that's...uh...hehe...um...nice. ----------------------------- Merbia: ----------------------------- Man: Looking for a Thrill? Be sure to check out Ramus' new Ga-Ga Go-Go Girls! Fresh from their hot world tour, now performing three shows nightly! Ruby: Have we stepped into some sort of "Twilight Zone," Episode? This town is just too weird. ----------------------------- Woman: Say, did you hear the story of the hero that saved the world? Isn't it wonderful? I heard that a gambler, a dancer, a magician and a dragon helped. I wish I could meet them. Ruby: Hehe, Uh...Funny how these rumors get started, isn't it? I actually heard that the dragon helped the most.... ----------------------------- Man: You know, I was just getting ready to kick that Zophar's butt! Those other heroes beat me to it, though. Ruby: You are the biggest fibber I have ever met! ----------------------------- Drunk: Everybuddy......says I'm jus' a worthless drunk who imaginns things. Bud, I tell ya, I I saw what I saw! That Cad was Flyin'! An' tha crazy pard wuz thad it turned inta uh kid! Freeked me oud uhgin! Ruby: You know, that's one freaky trick I have yet to learn! I can't wait until I can freak out worthless bums all by myself! ----------------------------- Horam: ----------------------------- Karate Student: Zophar appeared just as the flu season started here. If we weren't all sick with the flu, we could have easily kicked his butt! Ruby: You are the most amazing liar I have ever met. You actually believe yourself! ----------------------------- Pigman: You know, we just really don't take life that serious. And then when we do, its too late. I've been thinking that the end is really better than the begining. Ruby: I'm thinking that you need a life. And, I think you spend too much time thinking instead of doing something! ----------------------------- Karate Student: Even though we have proven our skill in thousands of battles, there are some that say wind karate is a fraud. Ruby: Well, they are on the right path. If John Stossel shows up at your door, be very afraid. ----------------------------- Karate Student: My Master was right. All his training paid off for me. When Zophar appeared, I ran away as fast as I could. I'm not dead, so I guess I won the battle! Ruby: Man, you have a seriously warped view of reality... ----------------------------- Man: Jean, I love you!! Mother loves you too...Please come and stay with me...You can choose which side of the bed you want to sleep on... Ruby: Is this guy for real? ----------------------------- Karate Student: This Dojo has made my body strong for Hooch, but I don't like the mornings.... Ruby: Well, hehe, you could be a big cow at the fat boy Dojo instead... ----------------------------- Karate Drunk: Bow befor' tha Mastur uh Drunkin Karate! I wood fight you tew proove my superier skill, bud I know youu'd cheed! Ruby: You are a pathetic drunk. Sleep it off, Mister! ----------------------------- Man: You know, I just looove your costume, Hiro. The Cape! Whooo! It just says "I'm going to come and bite your neck, Baby!" And then the boomerang! OH yeah, you know I'll be coming back to you, big boy. You costume gets one twirl, a lick, a grab, a grope, and two snaps in the air. Ruby: ...PLEASE HIRO! Let me fry this guy's face off! PLEASE? Hiro: ...RUUBY! ----------------------------- Man: I've got a great idea!! Why don't I get on that cat's back, and it can fly up to the top of that house. I'll stay there and try to get over my fear of heights! Ruby: No, I have a better idea. How 'bout I fly you over to the sea and drop you in? ----------------------------- Karate Student: Will wonders never cease?! You guys are amazing! I thought Zophar was invincible, and you guys thumped him! Ruby: Well, that just goes to show that you should never judge by looks alone. If that were the only criteria, I'd have thought you were an inbred hick!......Wait a minute,...YOU ARE! ----------------------------- Karate Student: Say, I heard you used a secret Blue Dragon Karate technique to beat Lunn! Its the one where you copy every move your opponet makes, as well as everything they say. It both confuses and annoys the hell out of them in one easy step...pure genius! Ruby: Uh, I don't think you got that exactly right... ----------------------------- Katate Student: Even though I have trained extensively, I am no match for Zophar's power. To him, I am as insignificant as a fly trapped in a pool of urine! Ruby: WHOA! I dig the symbolism, Man! ----------------------------- Zen: ----------------------------- Assassin: You guys won first place in the tournament? I don't believe it!! Say, do you think you could write book on your fighting techniques? Or better yet, why don't you train us? We could use that cat for practice!! Ruby: Oh yeah?? I'd like to see you try that, buster! I can take you with both wings tied behind my back! ----------------------------- Assassin: I'm going to become strong like you. Then I can save this world. What should I do first to get into shape? Ruby: I'd recommend losing the beer gut...Then you might want to consider looking for a spine... ----------------------------- Zaback: ----------------------------- Miner: The job of mining for diamonds is unique in all the world. There's nothing quite like uncovering a precious black dragon diamond. Each one is so valuable, men have even killed over them! Lemina: Oh Pooh! You're pulling my leg now! But say, you wouldn't mind showing me... Ruby: Lemina, we do not have time for this man to show you a diamond you can't have! Get a clue, bird-brain! ----------------------------- Miner: I heard that the person who defeated Zophar was leader of Vane's Magic Guild! Ruby: T..That's not true! How do these rumors get started?! Lemina: You know, Ruby..someone calls "The Star," and offers to make up a story for 100 silver. Happens all the time. You should get used to it. ----------------------------- Man: I heard a new rumor that the way Zophar was defeated what incredible... Ruby: How do these rumors get started?! Man: In fact, Eyewitness accounts say some how Michael and Lisa-Marie were involved! Something about magic, monkeys, make-up, Elvis, and...Tito! Ruby: OHH, is there ever an end to these bizarre stories? ----------------------------- Woman: Magic is important, but it is not the most important thing. Borgan forgot that, but we never must, lest we repeat his mistakes. Think of all the wonderful possibilities that are now open to us! Ruby: Yes, imagine! You can now shower more than once a month! ----------------------------- Nota: ----------------------------- Salesman: Look at this! Its our latest shipment of special tonics. How about some grated kitty nipple? Or maybe you'd prefer fresh ogre wart? Ruby: I'd prefer you stop talking about that stuff, or I'll be giving you a free jar of hot dragon spew! ----------------------------- Salesman: If you ever need strange or exotic wares, come to me first... Ruby: Uh, shyeah, I'll write you in my address book...Under "Freaks I'd prefer not meeting again." ----------------------------- Woman: I heard through the grapevine that you kitty is not a cat at all. In fact, I heard that she's really a baby red dragon. If that's true, I'll give you everything I own to buy her! What do you think? Ruby: I think your brain must be donated to science...So we can better understand chronic retardation in the adult female. Get a clue! I'm not for sale, Lady! ----------------------------- Woman: Well, I never! You are the rudest little dragon-cat I have ever known! Ruby: Oh, what a genius statement! I'm probably the only dragon you've ever known, idiot! ----------------------------- Salesman: Remember me? I used to be a petty their. But I've seen the error of my ways. I've been nothing but honest for months! Ruby: Since we're being honest, I've got something to share with you... Your breath smells like hog dog and cottage cheese dog vomit. Can you do something about it? Its really pretty gross...honestly. ----------------------------- Salesman: Bite into one of these sweet, juicy confections, and you'll never go back! Each one is a hand-crafted masterpiece of sensory perfection. Ruby: OUHHHHH! I'm dying to try these things! Look, I'm drooling puddles... ----------------------------- Salesman: Oh, and this is one of my favorites! It's a Dark God Zophar Doll. Put it in water and it grows 100 times it's normal size. Isn't that the coolest thing you've ever heard? Ruby: Uh...Get that thing away from me, you freak! -----------------------------